Have you ever woken up one morning in a strange city, with no clothes, next to a strange foreign woman who speaks no english and a hint of moonshine on your breath? <\/p>\n
Well, obviously you’re a victim of the government’s orbiting mind-control laser satellites, forcing you to do ungodly things with inebriated people you’d never<\/em> do on your own.<\/p>\n Thankfully, there’s help, friend, in the form of these detailed instructions on building your own Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie<\/a>, courtesy of Lyle Zapato<\/a>. <\/p>\n Act now, before you find yourself doing really crazy things like setting your website’s color scheme to gray letters on black backgrounds, or voting Republican!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Have you ever woken up one morning in a strange city, with no clothes, next to a strange foreign woman who speaks no english and a hint of moonshine on your breath? Well, obviously you’re a victim of the government’s orbiting mind-control laser satellites, forcing you to do ungodly things with inebriated people you’d never … Continue reading “Orbiting mind-control satellites”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-451","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meisterplanet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/451","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meisterplanet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meisterplanet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meisterplanet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meisterplanet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=451"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.meisterplanet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/451\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.meisterplanet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=451"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meisterplanet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=451"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.meisterplanet.com\/journal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=451"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}