Orbiting mind-control satellites

Have you ever woken up one morning in a strange city, with no clothes, next to a strange foreign woman who speaks no english and a hint of moonshine on your breath?

Well, obviously you’re a victim of the government’s orbiting mind-control laser satellites, forcing you to do ungodly things with inebriated people you’d never do on your own.

Thankfully, there’s help, friend, in the form of these detailed instructions on building your own Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie, courtesy of Lyle Zapato.

Act now, before you find yourself doing really crazy things like setting your website’s color scheme to gray letters on black backgrounds, or voting Republican!

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