Category: Humor

Users of Yesteryear

Every technical support person knows that users can ask silly questions, but not all of them know that users have been asking such questions for hundreds of years, as this quote by Charles Babbage (1791–1871), the first person to imagine a programmable computer, shows:

“On two occasions I have been asked, ‘Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?’ I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.”

A Series of Unfortunate Baby Names

Meet Baby Teflonn.

Born February 24th, 2005 at the Southeast Alabama Medical Center to Clarice and Rick.

His brothers and sisters are named Demontaye, Corey, Porsha, Rocquez, Jar’Quarius and Ashanti.

Maybe his family will setup a PayPal link to donate for the family counseling he’ll need to make it through grade school with a name based off a non-stick coating used on cooking utensils.

National Caffeine Awareness Month

Computer geeks, cramming college students and early-morning coffee-drinking workers rejoice, for your addiction has finally made the big time in the field of public awareness by having the month of March chosen by the non-profit organization Caffeine Awareness Alliance as National Caffeine Awareness Month.

Once again proving the theory that all odd news items must come from either eastern Europe or Florida, Ormond Beach’s Mayor Frank Costello has signed the paperwork to officially recognize the awareness month.

Now coffee and soda drinkers can celebrate by taking the CAA’s “Are you an addict?” online quiz while downing caffeinated breath mints or showering with caffeinated bar soap.

Until their hearts explode and the madness of not having slept for seven nights straight hits.

Orbiting mind-control satellites

Have you ever woken up one morning in a strange city, with no clothes, next to a strange foreign woman who speaks no english and a hint of moonshine on your breath?

Well, obviously you’re a victim of the government’s orbiting mind-control laser satellites, forcing you to do ungodly things with inebriated people you’d never do on your own.

Thankfully, there’s help, friend, in the form of these detailed instructions on building your own Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie, courtesy of Lyle Zapato.

Act now, before you find yourself doing really crazy things like setting your website’s color scheme to gray letters on black backgrounds, or voting Republican!