Category: Humor

How do Authors Sign eBooks for their Fans?

There’s nothing I love more than providing a serious answer to a not-so-serious question, which is why I couldn’t resist responding to Robert Stephen’s tweet: “So many authors here. How does an author sign an ebook?”

We all know that eBooks are gaining in popularity exponentially thanks to readers like Amazon’s Kindle. The benefits to the avid book reader are numerous, with cheaper books and less storage requirements being just a few.

However, eBooks do have a flaw for fans of an author in that they will eventually eliminate the old tradition of standing in line at the local book store for your favorite author to write a quick personal message and sign the the inside of your book.

I think Amazon should look prevent this bleak future by working on the technological problem now. Otherwise, you’ll have book fans looking for increasingly fine Sharpie pens to ask authors to sign the back of their Kindles, and really, that will only end up getting messy.

Perhaps someone could develop an iPad app that allows an author to load in images of their book covers for signings. When an eager fan comes up from the line, they could enter their email address, which eBook they want to have signed, which the author could do with a stylus designed to work with the iPad. The image, with the author’s personal message and signature would then be emailed to the fan, who can then treasure it always. Or print out 1,000 copies and wallpaper their room.

As Android tablets and iPads become more common, someone could develop a digital autograph books, so the fans could do this electronically with covers from books, movies, music albums or even websites.

“Why, yes, I’d be happy to sign this digital copy of meisterplanet.com for you!”

The Overlords of Synergy 5

If science fiction was written by authors of business books …

The two alien creatures glared malevolently from the command and control bubble on top of their best of class space saucer, parked conveniently outside the nearest population center.

Toothy, energized smiles beamed from their disgusting, otherworldly middle-management mouths, as they knew the time of convergence was almost upon them, time to touch base with the homeworld and shift the paradigm on Operation Blue Sky Venture.

“Truly, Overlord Xylyx, this is a big win for our people. Soon, we can dissolve this strategic alliance with the humans and take their core competencies as our own!”

“Excellent, Overlord Z’agnat! Your plot to underpromise and overdeliver these fools to their doom will facilitate our deliverables of productizing all of human buzz into the most dangerous weapon to face the galaxy.”

“Yes, this milestone marks a big win for our conquest action items.”

“Now then, fast-track our return home, I want to return to the Overlord mindshare and –“

The alien’s dialog with his peer was cut off by a shriek as a human ran from the saucer with a book in his hands.

“Downsize that human! Performance manage him with extreme prejudice!” shouted Overlord Xylyx.

Overlord Z’agnat brought the proprietary weapon systems online and recontextualized the man’s atoms into rounding errors, but not quick enough to stop him shouting to the crowd around the saucer.

“Everyone! Everyone! All-hands meeting! The book … it’s … it’s a dog and pony show!”

Handling the iPhone vs Android Debate Among Friends

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGCBjOZumFE

As more people get smartphones, it’s likely that they’ll find at least one or more of their friends owns a competing smartphone platform.

So what’s the best way to handle any friendly debates you may have with your friends? This video recommendation may help.

It’s Good to be a Geek … Geek Pride Day 2010

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsXfFAAmLtA

It’s always fun to talk about something as clearly important as Geek Pride Day, which I did on The Robin Swoboda Show on Cleveland’s Fox 8 today.

Sometimes, you just need to flaunt your pride in your Geekmobile, you know?